Paper Prezzies Talks: I Want Good Hair

What is the big deal about hair, unless of course you want it and don't have any, or you have too much? I have known very few people who are happy with the tresses on their head that they were born with. Here are my observations on the topic and some of my own experiences.

Bad Hair

I don't have "good" hair and at the age of twelve when it was at its best I wanted my hair cut - it was half way down my back - medium brown, wavy and quite beautiful. My mum, although she hated to do it, let me and since then I've never been able to grow it past my shoulders without it looking stringy and limp. Why? I don't know. I guess I don't have the long hair gene. Since then I have curled my hair (on and off) on a daily basis. I've home permed my hair into a frizz ball and also sat in a hair salon allowing strangers to prod, poke and cut me and put me under a dryer until my ears were about to fall off from the searing heat several times. Bloody torture.

My hair is soft and fine but there's quite a bit of it and so I guess I'll never be bald. When Sinead O'Connor shaved hers and looked so cute I wanted to try it but never had the guts. Also, I wanted neon blue hair for the longest time (art college days) but knew it wouldn't be a smart career move although I did have a shocking pink forelock once for a minute as a bartender in Vancouver. Now I dye it every couple of months with the least expensive concoction available when money permits because I have this not so pretty grey that threatens to envelop my head and that particular grey doesn't suit me. The store-bought dye I use makes it drier than is natural and is messy to apply. If my hair grew into that classy silver colour I think I'd leave my head alone. If I had a lovely oval shaped face, with high cheek bones and without a huge nose and double chin I'm pretty sure I'd go for a pixie cut like Jamie Lee Curtis. Point is, I've never been happy with my "bad" hair.

Good Hair

Not one of my black friends believes that they have "good" hair. Internalized racism is a bitch. One of my best friends and ex-lovers (a woman of colour), had the best looking long dreads back in the early nineties with a short flat top and sides. She went to a barber who once a month cut perfect lines on the side of her head when they were en vogue. That girl turned heads - even in NYC - when she walked down the street. I have run my fingers through my friend's hair - she let me. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Her hair was different than mine - not better but most definitely not worse. Much to my dismay - but it certainly wasn't my call, she cut off her locks a few years ago and now sports a short kinda stylized afro plus she's letting her grey grow in naturally. Brave woman she is. She told me years ago however, that when she was a kid in Jamaica all the little girls used to wear sweaters draped over their heads so they could pretend they had long (white) hair and flip it over their shoulders trying to be other than who they were. Sad and true.

Her stunningly beautiful and smart daughter was fifteen at the time. My friend's daughter had shoulder length hair and would hardly leave the house without two hours of straightening her hair. It was difficult to arrange a spontaneous date with her. She hated her curls and now she has a two year old daughter and is not so keen on hers either. Yikes! Black women have a generationally difficult time with their own hair and unlike whites it doesn't have much to do with age or style but with internalized and very real racism. They go through major pain to maintain their hair. If you've ever thrown a woman of colour into a swimming pool just as a laugh - bet you're not still friends. No joke.

The native women I am friends with in Canada don't seem to have a problem with hair. Maybe they have "good" hair. Here in Guatemala the general trend seems to be to dye your hair lighter than the natural black that it is. I can't really comment on it because we don't speak enough of the same language to talk about such an intimate and racially charged subject. Mostly I see teenagers experimenting with different colours and trying to look more Western (read white).

Unfortunately I have no Asian friends but from what I see going on in Japan the kids are experimenting too. Historically women from every culture and of every race have experimented with different hair styles but the difference between "good" and "bad" hair and the correlation with race is what disturbs me.

Body Hair

Body hair is difficult too. For years I have been growing a beard. It started in my early twenties with a hair here and there on my chin and I would systematically tweeze them out not really concerned. Now that I am in my late fifties I have a beard that rivals my boyfriend's. I shave every time I take a shower - mustache too. When I wanted to try out for "Survivor" a razor was going to be one of my must have personal items - screw the toothbrush or family photos. The longest I let it grow was for five days when we had no hot water here in Guatemala. I swear it was a full eighth of an inch long (4mm). I wonder how long it would grow, but you can bet your bottom dollar I don't plan on finding out. I don't care enough to go and get electrolysis but I always have razors on hand and if I'm ever in hospital someone better come and shave the hair on my chinny chin chin. Please.

I know European women who wax their forearms. Mediterranean women are quite hairy. I shave my legs only if I'm going to a beach but I used to do it weekly. If I was brave I wouldn't shave my armpits because I actually find that hair sexy and like the scent - you know, unless I've run a mile or worked a day under the sun (yeah, right).

Pubic hair.

I have only a few things to say about this. I grew up in the seventies when no one shaved their nether regions. We all had a thick bush and the sexual revolution was in full swing and neither men nor women cared too much about it at all. After all it is au naturel. Briefly in the nineties I started shaving my pubes, after all by then it was de rigueur. What a freaking nightmare! Red spots, pimples and that awful itch. So I stopped until I found out that Neet, Nair or the equivalent served the purpose without the pain. Now I use it pretty regularly.

Men and hair.

I like bald blokes. I've always found bald men somewhat attractive. Telly Savalas comes to mind but when André Agassi lost his semi-head of hair his five set game became HOT! Most black guys who are bald look great and I seriously wonder what Antonio Banderas would have looked like sans hair?

Men and hair seem to be a whole different subject though. Isn't it women who pass on the bald gene? Personally if I went bald at say twenty five and knew it was because of the opposite sex, sexism might take on a whole new meaning. Think of it. Maybe if men passed on the gene for hair loss, genealogically women would have grown bigger biceps and become bald. We might not be so pretty (and small). The world would be a different place. OK, just being silly here, but can you imagine forking over $500 for your husband to get hair extensions when he already has a head of hair and people are starving in your own damn city who actually need the money to eat and house themselves?